End of 90 day celibacy

So i am closing off here.
I just kept myself very busy these 90(actually 89) days and honestly I  cant write about any sophisticated tips.

I think the most important thing with will power is to make a strong decision and following it inspite of everything. Is that not also the strength that we derive by sticking to a set of principles (whatever it maybe) ?

I think honouring my decision became more important because of this blog(although nobody read :) ).  Writing a blog is also a good technique that i used for the 90 day  celibacy.

The first 2 months I was without a job.
So if you get fired or in search of job, my suggestion is to use the negative situation into a positive one by commiting yourself to one or two month of celibacy.


The "security factor" can lessen the sex urge.
Probably, facing our fears need some more internal energy than when we live in a comfort zone.


I also want to write about the tricks that my mind suggested to give up this during the weaker moments. It is better to be vigilant. Sometimes some quack writes  somewhere in internet that ejaculation balances your body hormones and celibacy can lead to imbalance. So my mind use this as a reason to masturbate.
It is better to assume beforehand that whatever suggestion your mind gives you in favour of giving up the 90 day celibacy is a wrong thought process. It is best to take it lightly and not pay much attention.

Half-asleep states are dangerous. They are basically weak moments where you don't remember your sankalpa(self-commitment).  I dont know how to overcome this. I think i passed this danger only through my faith in God.

I plan to extend this 90 day celibacy a little further and see how it goes.

Anyway this blog is closed. I am not deleting this blog but keeping it so other people may get a little inspiration to take up "little austereties" like this.

THANKS

1 more week to go

1 more week to go.

target Nov 10

I got confused about when i actually started. Anyways assuming i  started from 13th august i would like to persist with this commitment till 10th November.

13 aug---------------------0
20 August 2012 ------------7
27 August 2012 ------------14
3 Sept 2012 ---------------21
10 Sept 2012 ------------- 28
17 Sept 2012 ------------- 35
24 Sept 2012 ------------- 42
1  Oct 2012 ---------------49
8  Oct 2012 ---------------56
15 Oct 2012 ---------------63
22 Oct 2012 ---------------70
29 Oct 2012 ---------------77
5 Nov 2012-----------------84
10 Nov 2012-----------------89

2 weeks remaining.  14 days.

Have completed 75 days. congrats on that.

I will not give up now.

days count for week 10
67 days completed 23 days remaining.
approx 3 weeks remaining.

I will not give up now.

subconscious demons

yesterday, i had a dream.

In the dream, i was convincing to myself and  i was saying to myself that  "you need to
have an ejaculation for yogic-balance.  Your body requires that." etc
After that in the dream i began to masturbate by starting thinking of my favourite fantasy.
I was like half asleep and i began to actually masturbate.
Something changed and after that i stopped.

Only few days before, i thought it is going to be easy to complete the remaining 40 odd days.
But now i was almost in the verge of losing it.

This is an important thing to do for your Will-power.
If you decide something and then change your decision without executing the decision to
completion, we will never develop the muscle of will power.

Whatever it is i have to complete the 90 days. I pray to the Lord that he gives me the strength
to complete this.

End of Week 7

49 days completed 41 days remaining.
7 weeks completed. 6 more weeks to go.
I am getting the confidence that i am going to complete the 90 days.

celibates with intellectual pursuit

I came across  a site that listed out the scientists/philosophers/musicians who were celibates.

1. Pythagoras,
2. Plato,
3. Aristotle,
4. Leonardo da Vinci,
5. Spinoza
6. Newton
7. Kant
8. Beethoven
9. Herbert Spence

Inspiring list.
There should be more people that we don't know of.
The higher pursuit is a real hard pursuit.
First generation researchers of first generation musicians tend to put this heroic effort
and raise themselves to the next level.

People who don't have the benefit of accumulated effort of born in a family of musicians like me should put this effort. Hope i will find the strength to improve myself and not create obstacles for me.

half way there

I am completing 45 days tomorrow.
I only felt one serious episode of coming near to giving up.
Otherwise, i was able to keep my mind in celibacy.
Hope the rest of the 45 days will also be easy.

6 weeks completed.
Week 7 going on. 7 more weeks to go.
44days completed. 46 days to go.

guilty pleasure

 There is a phrase used called "guilty pleasure".
 It names the activity that a person does for pleasure, but feels guilt
 for doing it. "Enjoying without feeling guilt" is not possible after a
 certain point.
But why should we feel guilty?.
 We are not hurting anybody else.
 It just means that by over-enjoying we are just hurting ourselves.
 Its important to do it in moderation.

 There is no greater moral principle to follow than our conscience.
 If we follow some basic honesty in out external life, it is easy to
 recognize  the voice of conscience.
 If we feel right about doing something, we should do it with all the courage that
 we can gather-up. If we dont feel right and have negative feelings like guilt,
 it is important to not do it, however tempting it is.

  We need "inner strength" both to do something and to not do something.

End of week 5

Completed 5 weeks.  8 weeks to go.

Completed 35 days. 56 days to go.

completion of 30 days

I completed 30 days of celibacy yesterday.
I have done this before. My challenge is going from 30 to 60 days.
So i am entering in to the danger zone.
I am taking some precautions so that i can do this:

1. Sleeping with lights on: Sometimes when i am in half-asleep state, i masturbate due to force of habit. So I am thinking of sleeping with the lights on.
2. Strictly avoid porno and other stimulants.
3. i think of not taking in junk food or coffee after 5PM, I am thinking of having only my dinner and nothing else. 
4. I try to imagine/visualise the last post for this blog, that i will write in the end of 90 days. This is a major motivation for not doing it.

 If i can cross 60 days, then it will remain as a habit and i can easily cross the last 30 days.
God, Help me do this.

End of Week4

End of week 4.
28 days completed.
62 days more to go. 9 more weeks to go.

the effect of being busy

This week i was attending interviews and was busy.
Actually i didn't think much of sex.
Also i was feeling bit  insecure because of not being in a job.

I guess sex is not in your mind much when

1. you are terribly busy
2. when you  are feeling very afraid of your future.

Only when you relax, you think of enjoying.

When you have a goal and you are too focussed on your efforts and when your ego is too tied to the success and achievement of your goals, then sex is always a second priority.

End of Week 3

End of week 3. 21 days completed.

10 more weeks to go. 70 more days.

Levels of energy expended

This information is according to the information that is
gleaned from Swami Sivananda's "Brahmacharya guide"

http://www.yoga-age.com/modern/brahpractice.html

Usually semen is lost through
1. wet dreams during sleep. It happens involuntarily when you
sleep, due to the erotic dreams you have.
2. masturbation. This happens when you treat yourself a little
with no another partner
3. coitus. when you have actual sex with another person.

The amount of energy expended through semen is in the following
order.

night pollution(wet dreams) < masturbation < through coitus

The amount of energy spent is less in the case of wet dreams compared
to masturbation. The most amount of energy is lost through actual sex.
Ofcourse no energy is lost, if it is not lost, by any of the above three
means.

Although there is no research and actual numbers to support this, it can
be accepted through subjective experience.

The normal red flag to celibacy is raised when you plan to have absolute
control( no outlet). But for this to be successful, there should also be
thought level celibacy. Having sexual thoughts inside and acting externally
as a "brahmachari" is just 'hypocritical' and not at all recommended.
Being a thought level celibate is virtually impossible without control and discipline
in diet.

When there is no thought level celibacy, because of the thoughts we have
our body responds to these thoughts involuntarily resulting in erotic dreams
and night pollution. The amount of energy expended is just what was needed,
according to your energy level and capability of your body.

According to ones income, a person may consider saving money for future.
The amount of saved money can be spent immediately to buy for example, a car.
Or he can opt to save more in order to buy something larger, like a house.
If one is running low in his incoming money, its advisable for him to cut down on his
 spending so he doesn't get into any trouble in future.  Sometimes it is necessary to spend
or invest and not lock up the money, which loses its value in future due to inflation

Similar to how we manage our financial resources, its upto the individual how he spends
his energy for sexual pleasure.
I have decided to cut down my energy expenditure on sex.

 My goal is to not  be a thought level celibate, but a much lesser goal, of not
doing it voluntarily.  I pray that i have the willpower accomplish this goal atleast for 90 days.

the temptation of the weak moment

Yesterday, i didnt get sleep as i was preparing for  a test.
My body temperature was  somewhat hot due to lack of sleep.

 After i was done with the test, i came to my room in the afternoon.  I felt a strong urge to masturbate , and worse, i even looked at some porno. I was thinking whether it is possible to get prostitutes who are mature older women. I was feeling guilty when i was looking at porno and thinking like this. I just wanted to get off and was frequently touching myself.

But i didn't want to masturbate as it will break my pact with myself. I just went to bed to get some sleep at 4.30 in the evening. I closed my eyes with all  the porno images in head, and fantasies of hot milfs.
Due to my tiredness, i fell asleep immediately.

After 4 hours i woke up.
i feel better now.
All those perverted thoughts seem very distant now. It is like someone elses thoughts. The moment before 4 hours was very tempting, but not now.

We dont have to overcome a weak moment , but it can just be bypassed.

I feel a slight guilt for having those thoughts. Imagine the amount of guilt if these thoughts are acted on.

Anyways these thoughts are not important, they are not helpful, they dont make you feel good about yourself. Dont feed and reinforce those thoughts by looking in to porno or other sources.


Now again iam back to elevated thoughts, about being creative, helpful and being useful and contributing to the world. I am so glad i didn't masturbate myself.

the charming person

Nowadays there are self-improvement blogs that
try to give you tips about how to be more charming,
and create a presence , how to talk influencing
people and so on.

The best way to become a charming person seems to
 be celibacy.  I found this link and some
 excerpts quoted below

http://en.allexperts.com/q/Celibacy-Abstinence-3564/2010/9/Effects-Face.htm

"With every act of wastage of semen, one loses a
fraction of his very self or soul. Mark how one
feels tired, weak and lifeless further to ejaculation.
 Mark the burning eyes, loss of life energy and irritation
 on discharge of semen. "

"A man who transmutes his seminal energy into 'Ojas' develops
 a beautiful complexion, sparkling eyes,
shining cheeks and an attractive personality. "

" He casts a great impression wherever he goes and thus wins
 over people with his nobility and virtue.
 A true Brahmachari needs not the aid of cunning, guile, manipulation
 or dominance to succeed in the world.
Presence of enormous divine energy within him makes even wicked people
 treat him with respect and consideration. "

" Masturbation is an unnatural act of release of the reproductive
 element present within. The purpose of the sexual
 act is progeny and nothing more. With masturbation, man deviates
 further into the realm of delusion and ignorance. "

Some links on 90 day celibacy

These are some links about celibacy contracts and  i found  the part about "latent feelings and getting in touch with ignored feelings due to celibacy" very interesting

Links and quotes below :

1. http://billherring.info/atlanta_counseling/definition-of-sexual-sobriety





"First, a period of total sexual abstinence allows for the process known as emotional withdrawal to occur. A person who can no longer tap into an ever-present sexual "high" that is capable of acting as an all-purpose mood manager now has an opportunity to experience actual feelings that may have become numbed or distorted.  It can be quite revealing to experience previously unknown levels of sadness, anger, anxiety, loneliness and other unpleasant emotions that begin to emerge when the "self-medication" of compulsive sexual behavior stops."


 "For individuals who are not in an ongoing sexual partnership with another person (and even for some who are) the issue of whether masturbation is consistent with the concept of sexual sobriety is important to consider. There's no doubt that compulsive masturbation, both with or without pornography, often becomes a heavily reinforced behavior that is central to the addictive cycle. Most people engage in sexual fantasy while masturbating. For true sex addicts such fantasy can serve as a gateway to a downward spiral into obsession, intrigue, objectification and eventually full-fledged compulsion that respects few if any boundaries. This is especially true when masturbation involves pornography: there is no question that chronic "PMO" ("pornography-masturbation-orgasm") has created an epidemic of people who are almost incapable of maintaining sexual intimacy with a real human being.  As the motto for the outstanding website Your Brain On Porn states, "Evolution has not prepared your brain for today's internet porn."


2.  http://www.throughtheflame.org/forum/content/more-celibacy-142/


"Early in the treatment it is suggested that sex addicts abstain from all sexual activities, including masturbation, for 30-90 days (because masturbation is so often a part of the compulsive behavior of the sex addict, it is important to refrain from this activity as well). 
An abstinence period enables them to learn that they can indeed survive without sex, and allows them to get in touch with feelings that have been avoided and covered up with sexual activity."

"I then extended my contract to 90 days for two reasons; I feared that if I MB, I would return to P. Second, I was experiencing those feelings, a new found potency that I hadn't felt in almost a decade"

3. http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/sao/discussions/messages/7292707

"One of a sex addict's core beliefs was that sex was his/her most important need. By abstaining from sex, all of the memories and/or feelings you have been trying to suppress come quickly to the surface where they can be dealt with and worked through"

End of Week 2

Completed week 2. 14 days completed.
11 more weeks to go. 77 days more to go.

To keep myself committed, i just posted this blog link, in other similar blogs.
I have let others know, so i had better complete the remaining days.

Week2 mid-week affirmations 1

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90 days of celibacy

Hi
This is my online diary trying to mentally focus my efforts and to make a stronger commitment of 90 days of celibacy(avoid any voluntary sexual release).
Why do i want to do this?
The reasons are follows:
1. I got this idea of 90 days of celibacy from forums which try to help sex and porno addicts.  People who completed the 90 days, were giving positive feedback about how they were able to get the confidence boost like "I actually did it" .   People also wrote that they were able to get back in touch with their feelings and get rid of the cycle of unreal-obsessions, objectification etc.  Celibacy for them helped to gain some right perceptions.
2. It is normal for high performing sports people and athletes to have sex every 2-3 months, due to extreme physical grilling they go through. It is an important sacrifice they have to make to excel at their profession. Though my profession involves only mental work, i think it is important for me to make this sacrifice to excel at my work too.
3. Too much of my past shame and guilt was due to sexual excess. So it is better for me to follow a good abstinence limit and longer sexual cycles.
4. I feel this heavy blocking pain in the center of my spine. I don't know the reasons for why i have this pain, but the pain is more pronounced after a sexual release. If i have to listen to my body, a longer sexual abstinence is necessary
5. Its important to maintain a sense of thrift when it comes to using your resources like money, electricity etc. If you consider your  resources, the most obvious energy resource is directly tied to sex. So maintain thrift in how you spend it.


So far it is 7 days. hope i will  complete the remaining 83 days (12 weeks to go.)
Hope i will complete it.